Is there where all great dreamers go to die? She told me a story of another actor friend of hers, previously one of the highest-paid Soap Opera stars in the biz, who had a bad break and lost everything. This friend I was talking to was once a Hollywood actress, starred in well-known shows, and now is a single-mother of 3, living in a 900 sq foot apartment, sharing a bedroom with her own daughter. The entitlement that pierced through me in my 20's is fast disappearing. business actually isn't that easy for me, and I'm going to have to start working for it, This past year has humbled me to my core. The buzzword that keeps standing out to me is - HUMILITY. Which means have to go through PAIN! & boy - is that manifesting quickly. If I really want to make more money, have more impact, and ultimately feel more "authentic" (which I so often preach), I have to align to that version of myself. just isn't cute anymore, and certainly isn't going to serve me in this next wave of my 30's. I think waving my 20's goodbye kind of woke me up to realize, bragging about how much money I've made for my age, how many followers I've grown, etc. I just got off the phone with a friend, she's helping me through this next wave of healing, and I opened up to her about how much I've been projecting to the world a version of myself I wanted them to believe, not even realizing at the time of doing it how much I was still in my defenses. My toxic traits, my avoidance, heck I even quit smoking weed, which you can read about in my previous newsletter, " What I Learned One Year Without Weed. Turning 30 had profound effects on my psyche. I've had a few ego deaths, or so I thought. I know I've spoken before on my blog about "ego death" and the transformational process of letting previous versions of yourself go, often childish masks we've clung onto in an effort to navigate this world. talking about the ice and freezing temps got me reminded, once again, Hearing other people in seemingly warmer places. I can only play the card so hard, seeing as I live in Florida.
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